Media release

Monday 24 July 2023

Should you stay or leave? Our Therapist Rebecca, publishes a book for women who feel stuck in their marriage

A counsellor at relationships charity, Relate Bradford & Leeds has written a book to help women who feel stuck in their relationships, decide whether to stay or leave.

Rebecca Jane, a counsellor at Relate Bradford & Leeds has based ‘A survival guide for women who feel stuck in their marriage: should I stay or leave?‘ on her six years as a therapist working with couples and individuals who are facing relationship issues. She also draws on her personal experiences, offering actionable advice to empower women to embrace their strength, make informed decisions, and create the future they deserve.

Rebecca said, “I wrote this book because of my own personal journey with marriage and then putting the links together through the process of becoming a relationship therapist. 

Women are heavily conditioned to put other people’s needs before their own but as they enter their late 30s and early 40s they often go through a huge awakening period. During this ime they may start to value themselves more and become less likely to stay in a relationship that isn’t meeting their needs. I see this in therapy a lot and I know deciding which path to take can be tough. That’s why I created this book which aims to help women navigate their relationship challenges and make informed decisions about their future.”

Tina Butler, Chief Executive Officer at Relate Bradford & Leeds said, “I am very proud of Becky and of what she has achieved with her book and in us all at Relate Bradford & Leeds and the Relate family, being a part of Becky’s journey, as a clinician and as an author, is absolutely wonderful! Well done Becky!”

Rebecca’s tips for creating healthy boundaries in your relationship

When having a discussion with your partner, 

  • Never bring up the past! 
  • Always bring your partner back to the topic in hand. 
  • Remember – There is no right or wrong! 
  • As human beings, we have all had different upbringings, and different life experiences. 
  • We all have different conditioning and programming past down to us from previous generations and therefore, we all see the world with a different pair of eyes. 
  • Always meet your partner with empathy rather than judgement. Just because they don’t see the situation the same way you do, doesn’t mean your way is the right way. 
  • It’s all about seeing the situation from each other’s perspective and then finding a middle ground. 
  • Lastly, we will subconsciously look to recreate our childhood environment in our romantic relationships.  
  • As human beings, we will always go towards what feels familiar, even if that’s toxic or abusive. 
  • We can only learn to change this subconscious programming when we gain strong self-awareness and deconstruct our own patterns of behaviour, rather than looking to blame or change our partner! 
  • Therapy is a great place to help you start with this journey. 

A Survival Guide For Women Who Feel Stuck In Their Marriage Should I Stay Or Leave?


For all media enquiries contact Tina Butler on 

Notes to editors:

  • Relate is the largest provider of relationship support In England and Wales. Relate is a federated charity and Relate Bradford & Leeds is part of the Relate federation.
  • We’re here for every relationship – from romance to roommates, from colleagues to co-parents.
  • Our services include relationship counselling, young people and family counselling, school based counselling, NHS Talking Therapies, depression and anxiety and sex therapy. You can access many of our services together or as an individual via face-to-face, web counselling or telephone.
  • We’re an inclusive organisation and actively welcome people of all ages, backgrounds, relationship styles, faiths, religions, sexual orientations and genders.
  • Relate Bradford & Leeds is a registered charity number 1013811.
  • Millions of people every year access information, support and counselling from Relate but many more could benefit.
  • For more information visit: (Relate Bradford & Leeds)
  • For more information visit:

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