Phone line times…

Our phones lines are staffed during the following times:

Monday: 9.00am- 6.00pm

Tuesday: 10.00am – 5.00pm

Wednesday: 9.00am – 6.30pm

Thursday: 9.15am – 3.45pm

Friday: 9.00am – 3.00pm

We are experiencing a high volume of calls, so if you do experience any difficulty in reaching us by telephone, could you please contact us by email, on Information@relatebradford.com

The team look forward to hearing from you.

Thank you.

EMDR – our new service from Relate Bradford…

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing. It stops difficult memories causing so much distress by helping the brain to reprocess them properly.

When someone feels overwhelmed by an event/experience, their brain may be unable to fully process what is going on. The memory of the event seems to become “stuck” so that it remains very intense and vivid. 

EMDR aims to help the brain “unstick” and reprocess the memory properly so that it is no longer so intense. It also helps to desensitise the person to the emotional impact of the memory, so that they can think about the event without experiencing such strong feelings.

It does this by asking the person to recall the traumatic event while they also move their eyes from side-to-side, hear a sound in each ear alternately, by tapping their hands alternately. These side-to-side sensations seem to effectively stimulate the “stuck” processing system in the brain so that it can reprocess the information more like an ordinary memory, reducing its intensity.https://emdrassociation.org.uk/a-unique-and-powerful-therapy/emdr-the-basics/

FAQ

How many sessions will I have?

Around 6 – 8.

I’ve got a few distressing experiences I’d like to process, is it okay to process several memories?

Yes it’s fine to do more memories.

Will it change any of my memories?

No it doesn’t change any memories.

Do I attend with my partner?

Yes you can attend with your partner.

Can I have EMDR over the phone?

Unfortunately you can’t have EMDR over the phone. You can have it via web counselling or face-to-face.

I have anxiety/depression, can I have EMDR?

The focus of this EMDR work is a relationship focus.

Does it work with young people?

Yes, we can offer this to young people, aged 10 years and above.

EMDR – a new service from Relate Bradford…

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing. It stops difficult memories causing so much distress by helping the brain to reprocess them properly.

When someone feels overwhelmed by an event/experience, their brain may be unable to fully process what is going on. The memory of the event seems to become “stuck” so that it remains very intense and vivid. 

EMDR aims to help the brain “unstick” and reprocess the memory properly so that it is no longer so intense. It also helps to desensitise the person to the emotional impact of the memory, so that they can think about the event without experiencing such strong feelings.

It does this by asking the person to recall the traumatic event while they also move their eyes from side-to-side, hear a sound in each ear alternately, by tapping their hands alternately. These side-to-side sensations seem to effectively stimulate the “stuck” processing system in the brain so that it can reprocess the information more like an ordinary memory, reducing its intensity.

https://emdrassociation.org.uk/a-unique-and-powerful-therapy/emdr-the-basics/

To find out more, please contact the Relate Bradford team, via our contact us section.

My Summer Experience Internship…

Last year when the pandemic hit I was worried about the opportunities that would be out there for students like me. I found myself with a lot of free time with nothing to do. So I went out in search of some experience that I could add to my skill set.  

Amongst all the chaos of our ‘new normal’ I applied for a summer internship at Relate Bradford. It was safe to say this was a new experience for both Relate Bradford and I, as we were all adjusting to our new workplaces at home. I started my internship during the lockdown period and worked from home on tasks set to me by the CEO and my supervisor. I also had the chance to work on projects I was interested in so I was very involved. I worked on administrative responsibilities and even produced a new volunteer handbook amongst other tasks. As I began working at Relate I learnt so much about mental health, working relationships and just my colleagues in general. I was proud to be a part of a charity that was set on driving real change and helping people to become happier individuals in society. 

Although I was an intern I always felt like a valued member of the team, and was able to become an asset to Relate Bradford by helping them with the knowledge I already had but also learning from everyone around me. I was able to excel at Relate Bradford because of the support and encouragement from everyone. In fact I did so well that I was asked to stay on as a volunteer. Which I gladly accepted. It was a pleasure working at Relate Bradford, going forward I cant wait to see what will happen next.  

Sofia

Human Resources Management (HRM) at the University of Bradford

Let’s Talk About Sex…

‘All couples go through phases where they don’t have the time or energy for regular sex. If this has become the norm and you would like to rediscover your sex life, Relate’s Sex Therapists can help you communicate.’

It’s natural to want better sex with your partner and sometimes there are specific reasons for your difficulties. Don’t be embarrassed about it, ask for help.

Typical problems that cause anxiety and often real distress might include Erectile Difficulty, one or both partners have ‘gone off it’, inability to orgasm or climax, difficulty with penetrative sex, pain on intercourse, sexual compulsion.

Sex therapists are trained couple therapists who have gone on to specialise and offer this sensitive but rewarding area of therapy. This means that they are accustomed to a wide variety of sexual and couple difficulties. You’re in good hands.’

Tamara

Clinical Supervisor, Relate Bradford

A World Mental Health Day blog from Faye… ‘Feeling Vs Thinking’

Can we think our way out of our Anxiety and other emotions?

Often in Practice and especially during the Covid Pandemic, I’ve worked with clients who are feeling immense anxiety, among many other intense emotions and feelings, which they want to get rid of immediately. If you have ever felt the gut wrenching, impending doom of anxiety, then you will know that to want rid of this feeling is a pretty reasonable request. Though lately I have been wondering more so than before, if as a society we all too often try to think our way out of our feelings. How often do we allow ourselves and others, to sit with our feelings and receive the message that our bodies/senses/gut/instinct is relaying to our minds?

With CBT, or ‘Cognitive Behavioural Therapy’, being a very popular choice of talking therapy at the moment, (and no wonder with its impressive recovery rates of over 50% and 67.4% showing reliable improvement[1]), it’s no surprise that thinking our way out of our emotions can sometimes seem the ‘rational’ choice. Is the rational choice the right choice when dealing with emotions that can be anything but rational?

When working with clients I often use a tool called the Hot Cross Bun[2], which was taught to me in Relate training. It is a CBT intervention, which means it’s about ‘thinking’ our way around this problem, right? Well not quite, as the cognitive element is only a quarter of this intervention, with the other 3 parts being made up of ‘behaviour, physiology and emotions’. Often clients will realise that a big part of their anxiety response is any one of these other elements, and this can be quite a revelation for somebody who believes their anxiety is ‘all in their head’. How could a person possibly consider what they physically or emotionally feel when there is a deafening inner narrative warning them all day long that the friend of theirs who they usually trust, actually hates them, or if they go to the supermarket today they will definitely be infected with Covid.

What might happen if we remember that we have more avenues to pursue to decode these non-linguistic signals, than what thoughts we have? I have found that some clients have realised that their bodies physically remember and signal information way before their brains have caught up and put it into the context of a thought. It may be a smell, a texture or being in a certain environment. Some clients default into a certain behaviour, i.e. withdrawing, even when the client wants to take part in what they are isolating themselves from. This causes confusion, as their head is telling them to do it but their body is saying ‘thanks, but no thanks!’ Then, there are emotions in themselves, begging to be acknowledged but often told they’re unwanted, unneeded and a bit of a pain in the backside to be honest; completely denying a part of themselves as a whole person.

It is important to remember that all of the above belong to us as whole human beings and are all as valid as one another. Our bodies work with us not against us, and though sometimes the signals can be faulty, for example in cases of C/PTSD, they are all messages to our being, that let us know what we need in that situation and when we might need to slow down and listen before making a hasty decision based on thought alone. So next time you have an emotion and you find yourself trying to think you way around it, feel what’s physically going on, pay attention to what you do and lean into those feelings that can’t be put into words and you may find you have a much better picture of what is going on within.


[1] https://digital.nhs.uk/news-and-events/news/iapt-2018-19

The Body Keeps The Score, Bessle Van Der Kolk, Penguin Books, 2014

[2] Relate YP Certificate Training Material, Relate Institute, 2019

Faye

Counsellor, Relate Bradford

Disclaimer: This is a personal blog and any views or opinions represented in this blog are personal and belong solely to the blog owner and do not represent those of Relate Bradford.

Resilience…

  • Acknowledge being overwhelmed – know that it will pass, that it is temporary, and that it does not define you. It is not permanent. Try to objectify the situation. 
  • Compartmentalise your mental load; do you need to attend that meeting, read that email, do that research? What is enough? 
  • Remind yourself  that mistakes and setbacks are part of living. People survive them and so will you. 
  • Put your energies where you have most impact; get to know the difference between what you can and what you can’t change. 
  • Choose your response. Cognitively, deliberately, knowingly, adjust your response from despair. 
  • Take small steps towards change. 
  • Whatever it is, GIVE IT A GO! 
  • Take detachment breaks from your circumstances.  Move away from them by reading, watching something, exercising, talking about something else with someone. It will be less stuck when you look again. 
  • Show yourself compassion. 
  • Keep that positive image of your future; research shows that those people who keep a healthy visualization are more successful. 

Tamara

Clinical Supervisor, Relate Bradford

Disclaimer: This is a personal blog and any views or opinions represented in this blog are personal and belong solely to the blog owner and do not represent those of Relate Bradford.