One of the biggest causes of a relationship breakdown is the lack of emotional safety.
For example, have a think about how you deal with challenging situations that are enviable in our everyday lives; a child gets upset, a parent gets ill, stuck in traffic, a colleague at work is rude to you, an unexpected bill.
Now ask yourself…and be honest…
“Are you someone that is able to stay calm in these types of situations, or do you panic and ruminate the worst possible outcomes?“
As human beings, it’s very common that when we are feeling overwhelmed, we can sometimes project this fear onto the closest people around us.
This creates an environment however, where one partner often feels they are walking on eggshells or couples become defensive towards each other, not knowing how the other may react at any given moment.
When we don’t trust life, what we are really saying, is that we don’t trust ourselves enough to cope when things go wrong.
Having emotional safety in a relationship means, being able to reach out to your partner and talk about anything that’s on your mind without being made to feel you are ‘over reacting’ or being ‘over sensitive.’
If your partner can remain calm in these situations (without making any criticisms or judgements of you), not only will your brain be able to process the information more rationally and come up with a solution to your problems, but you will also feel closer to your partner and feel safer in their presence.
We must have an emotional connection for a relationship to survive.
Counsellor, Relate Bradford & Leeds