Mental Health Awareness Week 2022

Since becoming a Relationship Therapist and reflecting on my own marriage in the process, one of the key things that I have noticed is how we all change (mentally and emotionally) as people as we get older and go through the decades.

What I mean by this, is who we were in our 20’s is not who we are in our 30’s – and now as I approach my 40’s, I am ever-growing, everchanging – and I see things in completely different light to what I did ten years ago.

The problem is – what happens to our relationships if one of us emotionally outgrows the other?

This is a common theme I see again and again in the therapy room –

one partner just cannot seem to put their finger on why things feel different now, or why they cannot seem to connect to their spouse like they used to.

This can create a huge divide within the family unit and cause a person to feel confused and very alone.

Nobody asks for this change and nobody ever really sees it coming, but as big life events happen (to all of us) – i.e. the birth of our children, illness or the death of our parents for example

We begin to shift our perspective on how we view life – and sometimes this shift can happen faster for one person (in the relationship) than the other.

These shifts can cause a person to feel like they are having a midlife crisis as they begin to have doubts about themselves, their relationship and what they generally now want out of life.

Talking to a Therapist at Relate can be a real moment of clarity for some people as they begin to realise that this change happens to all of us (at all different ages) and is a completely normal human process to go through.

The more we open up and talk about things with someone who is non – judgemental and see things from our perspective – can really help to change our mindset on how we approach life going forwards.

Becky, Counsellor

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